Saturday, December 11, 2010


Laryngitis... Laryngitis...Laryngitis!!!!  It SUCKS!  end of sentence... period!!

So, I am what you like to call a talker.  A person who talks ALOT and when I can not talk.  I go NUTS!  I have not been able to talk for two days now and it is no fun at all.  Okay... Done with my rant.  I love life.  Life is good.  flowers... pixies... unicorns... soft white, fluffy clouds... puppy dogs... butterflys... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I can't speak!!!!  Okay, I think it's out now.

Do you have any idea how much it sucks to answer your phone and then realize that, nope, still can't talk???  You squeeze out, "Can't talk..." the person on the other end says, "Oh, you're in the library? Just call me when you leave."  "Nope, really, can't talk.  literally."  "Then, why did you answer the phone, goof ball??"...

Do you have any idea how much it sucks to get up to the drive through window at the local Bread Co. peruse the menu to find that YES, they are serving chicken and wild rice today only to realize when you get up to the speaker that you can not order any because you CAN NOT SPEAK??  So, you bust a U-ey and park, go into the store and proceed to "try" to order some freagin soup.  The ridiculously hot man behind the counter smiles and nods as you mouth chicken and wild rice at him.  "Um.. Sorry, Mam".  You smile and try again.  He smiles, nods, holds up one finger and returns with another gentleman who starts signing to you.  You laugh and hold up both hands and wave, "no, sorry, not deaf, just can't talk" pen, paper? you pantomime they are now amused by you but oblige.  "Sorry, got the laryngitis", you scribble, attempting humor, they both laugh as the other customers stare.  "May I please have some chicken and wild rice soup", you write.  "Certainly!!" the cute one says.

Silver lining... The cute one made me a hot tea with lemon for FREE!  Is that even an option at Bread Co.?  He must have really felt sorry for my silly ass!!

When I got home I took the puppies outside to potty.  Al took off running, to go play with the dogs next door and I could not do a dang thing about it.   I opened my mouth to holler at her to get her little butt back to her own yard and nothing... Crap!! JO just looked up at me like, "Yep, MaMa's lost it". The neighbor man came outside and tried to have one of those holler between yards conversations with me.  "How's it going tonight, Lori"  Shit, what now??  So, I jog over and he is looking at me like, "You didn't have to come all the way over."  "No voice", I pantomime to him.  He smiles as he thinks to himself, "what a strange girl".  Okay, so I made that part up but he did look at me like I was nuts.

So, here I am, at home, watching reruns of Charmed, with my hot tea and soup, alone, (because the husband went to Tom's house to take the temptation to talk away from me) in silence.

Laryngitis BLOWS!  At least I am not really deaf though, that would double SUCK!  To those who are deaf, you are ROCK STARS!  No talking = Sad Lori...

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