Wednesday, June 19, 2013

The Teammate

Work is very difficult for me right now. Problems with coworkers are making my job, which has been a happiness in an otherwise cluttered world, almost unbearable. For weeks now the feeling of being "set up" has been plaguing my thoughts. Little things... like being encouraged to use something that my coworkers and I have been clearly told not to use. Being told that rules that are clearly stated don't  "always" apply. Being given misinformation only to be tattled on later, when performing a task thought to be correct, as though we were in a school yard.

There are hateful, vindictive, evil people in this world, this I know; because of my teammate from JV cheer-leading this concept is all too familiar...

As my teammate's hand met mine, palm to palm, she pulled me to my feet and whispered into my ear, "stupid bitch". Astonishment does not begin to describe what I felt in that moment. My tailbone was throbbing and my head spinning. Moments before three of my teammates had been holding me high in the air. With complete trust in them I was flying high into the gym air only to crash, seconds later, harshly to the gym floor with no cradle of hands to catch me. They had dropped me... on purpose... In that moment I knew hate.

Today all of it came to a head and the realization that it was not all in my head became quite clear. Today my boss called to tell me that "many" of my coworkers had been complaining about what a terrible job I have been doing. That I am slow. That I don't follow rules. Again, complete and utter astonishment filled me from within. She also let me know that she liked me very much and that my personality was amazing however, she has to listen to what her trusted employees tell her. This is essentially my first and only warning to clean up my act or lose my job.

I began to wonder... Just how many employees have come before me that have lost their jobs because their supposed trainers were sabotaging them instead of teaching them? Why would employees do this? Are they motivated by a competition for more or better hours? Are they really just that picky about who they work with? Am I really just that unlikable?

Growing up we are taught that trying your best and doing a great job will get you far in life. How though do we accomplish great things when there are people at every turn waiting to tear you down and make life more difficult?

Being extremely sensitive has long been a great strength and weakness for me. Having compassion and hope for the good in everyone seems to be an amazing quality but it also hinders me from moving forward in some endeavors. That animalistic fight for power, control, and territory is just not something I posses. Maybe to be truly successful that is what it takes. After all, that is what reality TV has taught us right? Thoughts... Advice...

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