Dear, Chris...

Why did you do this to me? How could you leave me and all of your other family and friends here wondering why?

You promised me you would never hurt me again. You promised that you would never let anyone hurt me they way you did again but, it is so much worse this time. You ripped my heart right out of my chest and stomped on it.

I think of you every week, every day, sometimes every minute. It hurts so, so, very badly. On top of everything, you took away letting me and everyone else say goodbye. You were there on the other end of the phone one day and the next week you were just gone... I never got to see you again... I never got to tell you how much you meant to me. You saved my life and then took your own.

"You're worth it, Lori Beth, you are so worth it. This world would be much less without you in it," you said...

Well, you were worth it too, Chis. You were so very worth it... And this world hurts without you in it. It hurts...

My Boys

The O-Man and T-Turner had a sleep over with us last weekend.  Pretty sure they had a blast!  We sure did!!

First we went to the movies to see "Happy Feet 2" It was absolutely A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E!!!  Owie was dancing in his seat when the baby penguins sang "Sexy Back" Both he and T were totally captivated.  I definitely recommend seeing it!

After some Happy Feet we took them to Buffalo Wild Wings.  Owen tried wings for the first time and loved them.  It's a good thing I got the 12 piece, like a fat kid, cause he ate half of mine!  That's alright, what are Aunts for if not for sharing their plate with you, right?

When we got home Nick, and Rob were both out with their leaf blowers so Ben broke out the rake, I broke out the Canon and O and T decided to do some leaf pile cannon balls.

Mr. Owen had to have a photo op with Yoshi.  I forget how little and sweet he is sometimes until I see a photograph like this.  He can be such a little cuddle bug!

Joce came out to play with us for awhile and I am pretty sure T has developed his first crush...  She is a super cutie.  The kids got taste!

After some major leaf playing we decided to take a break for some "Supah Ninjas," and I got some help from one heck of a little helper who informed me that "Mommy always has lemonade!" (Bad Auntie, no lemonade ready for the littles!)  He forgave me quickly, thankfully.

After some lemonade and coats it was back outside to go exploring, "Like Christopher Columbus" That Owen is such a smart little cookie!  We may not have an ocean and a boat but we certainly have the back yard and woods for exploring.  It was short lived though;  They all three came marching back into the house with puppies in tow.  Puppies who had decided to roll in poop.  Not poop scent... Full on POOP!  They smelled soooooo bad.  So the boys got to watch while Uncle Ben gave the puppies a bath!

After our much needed break time we took a little visit to Richard & Ashley's for some early Turkey Day festivities.  The boys had fun playing with all of the kids and we got to visit with Cousin Brenda.  It was one packed house but it was a fun time.

By the time we got back to the house the boys were getting pretty sleepy but they took a little time to play some video games and play on Uncle Ben's keyboard before Owen, all on his own, said, "I'm ready for bed, Aunt Lori."  Of course, Turner decided he was sleep too, since brother was.  (He's in that I have to do whatever brother does phase.  It's pretty darn cute.)

At 6:15 am I awoke to a three year old in my hallway yelling, "I want pancakes!!"  Gotta love kids and their inner alarm clocks!  Waffles did the trick and boy can those boys pack them away.  We started with a pack of 16 waffles, I had two and there were none left by the end of the morning...  Either Uncle Ben had a serious appetite or he had some help!  I am pretty sure it was the latter.

All in all it was a great night.  Only a few kinks... When Turner realized that Aunt Lori did not have Rocket Ship jammers for him, like Grandma Connie or When he fell off of a bar stool and, of course, face planted into the wood floor.  ( I swear that kid is not going to have any teeth by the time he is four. He's top heavy I tell ya!!)

They were ready when MaMa came to pick them up but I am sure they had lots of stories to tell her about their first sleep over and Aunt Lori and Uncle Ben's new house!

It is Better To Be Hated For What You Are Not, Than To Be Loved For What You Are Not

"It is better to be hated for what you are not, than to be loved for what you are not."            - Source Unknown

I noticed this quote while surfing the net tonight and it really caught my attention. I have heard before that there are sometimes those quotes that just really sum up your life in one swift line. I had not before had a quote hit that close to me but, this one really smacked me in the face and said, "Hey, wake up!" I began to ask myself so many questions.

• What happened to the person you once were? 
• Where has she been for so long? 
• When is she coming back?"

I scoured the cybersphere (Is that a word? Whatever, I just made it up... I can do that...) for where this quote originally came from and who wrote or said it but I just kept finding site after site where some blogger spewed it out as if they just came up with it without giving the name of who actually said it.  Below is my favorite version of everything I found.

To give whatever credit is due THIS is the link to the site that I copied this version from.

“Be yourself. People may or may not like you, but it’s important that you stay true to who you are.”

Staying true to who you are means going right whenever everyone else goes left, it means leaving a place because you aren’t comfortable while everyone else stays, it means not wearing the same masks that everyone else wears, and showing your face, showing who you really are, while everyone else would rather wear the same masks in order to fit in. Not everyone will like you when you are yourself, but those that do will genuinely like you.

Not only will people like you, but they will like you for who you truly are and everything will come so much more easier. Follow your own intuition, and follow what your heart says at all times, no matter what position you will be put in doing so. It is better to suffer being who you are than it is to suffer trying to be someone that you are not. As soon as you discover who you really are, take advantage of this knowledge of yourself and follow your heart!

WOW! There it is. So simply put. I am just speechless... I am sure I have so much more to say on this, I just can convey in words what it means to me. It is like a... much more poignant... version of myself wrote these words. They embody absolutely everything I believe strait to my core.


Now, I ask myself... 

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" 

And I have a lot of soul searching to do...  

The Luckiest

Ben and I have been blessed to have four of the most beautiful nephews and nieces anyone could ask for. They are amazing, adorable, sweet, smart and we absolutely adore them!

The other night we were having a bon fire at my parent's house and T fell asleep in Ben's arms. It was the sweetest thing ever. Ben was so good with him as he covered him up with a big comfy afghan. Later he carried him into mom and dad's room and laid him on their bed. I really wish I had my camera; he looked like a little burrito baby!

Then the other night we were at his brothers house and Reese was cracking up laughing in the cute little baby laugh way and Ben looked at me and suddenly burst out, "I so can not wait until we have one of our own!"

Not that I didn't know that he wanted kids and not that we have not throughly discussed and planned everything out to an OCD extreme but I have never heard him blurt that out with such pride. He was so excited at the thought of having a little of our own and it really made me smile. I am so excited to start our little family (or big family the way we are thinking). We shall see! Until then we will soak up all we can get of these four little beauties. Cheers to babies in 2012-2013!!

Road Trip!

So, I have decided to surprise the husband with a road trip.  I am pretty much going to wing it however, if anyone has any ideas of activities along the way that would be fabulous!!! Please leave your ideas as a comment.  We will be leaving from Saint Louis, MO and traveling toward Elizabethtown, KY.  I am looking for ideas on:

• Fantastic places to eat
• Cheap places to stay
• Fun activities to do outside
• Must see attractions

We would be up for going off track a bit if it is an absolute must see!!  My goal here is just a totally relaxing detox kind of last minute road trip.

Shhh don't tell the hubster, it's a surprise!!

We're Getting There

So we officially moved into our new home the weekend before last.  It is nowhere near being finished but it is definitely looking loads better! We have come so far since closing day. We have new floors, a new roof, a new bathroom upstairs and down, and new carpet throughout the upstairs.  We have torn out floors and ceilings. Painted EVERYWHERE. This house has done a full 360 in just over a month.

 In other news... I GOT A NEW JOB!!! WHOOT! Last night I was offered a job as an office manager making more money than I have ever imagined. Ben and I are so excited that we could just scream. This news came at the absolute perfect time since this house is driving us broke!

There is still much to do in the DIY category of our lives but we are definitely getting there!

60's floor that we found in our kitchen. One of SIX layers of flooring in the kitchen.

Kitchen during the floor demo.

One day Owen and Turner came over to see the new house. T walked into my dinning room and said, "Did Pace is a mess!" He was RIGHT!

T playing swords with one of my stairwell spindles

The back deck and yard.

The studio half of my office.

Ben and Bob loading up the new bathtub and shower.

Guest bedroom.

Lows LOVES us! We have been there a lot in the past two months. I am the Mayor of Lows on Foursquare!!

Office half of my Office/Studio.

My cutie husband taking a quick break from tearing up floors.

Tom and Ben watching Uncle Randy tear out the kitchen ceiling so that we could fix the plumbing.

Our bedroom. It was purple and lime green when we bought the house. It was PRETTY!!

View of our house from the street.

Office, again.

Ben getting mad at Kari and I because we were goofing around instead of painting. :)

Ben building me a bathroom wall.  I like walls!!

Ben has become quite the drywall expert over the past few months.

New upstairs bathroom sink.

Daddy measuring for new drywall.

The wall behind the old sink, upstairs, was a mess.  Ben had to do a lot of patching to make it look good.

Back deck.

Side yard.

Painting doors.

More of the purple and lime green room.

Upstairs hallway.

Doors, LOTS O' DOORS!

Ben and Daddy installing the sink in the downstairs bathroom.

Installing the plumbing in the upstairs bathroom.

Kari and I goofing around when we were suppose to be painting.

The puppie girls LOVE their new house! There is a lot more room for them to run around here than there was at the condo.

Puppy jail. They were not happy with Mommy and Daddy!

The new bathroom sink, waiting to be installed.

The girls decided to rebel against Mommy and Daddy for locking them in a bedroom.

Bathroom demo!

Downstairs bathroom reconstruction.

Hallway leading to the once purple and lime green room that is now blue and the guest bedroom that is a pretty shade of green.

K.O. hard at work! She rocked out some painting in that last hour!

Ben making sure everything is level in the downstairs bathroom.

Oops! Looks like Daddy dropped something. I think he was actually just checking things out, though.

MMMM... Beer, YUMMY!

Master bedroom. Looks much better in blue.

One of the bedroom doors had Velcro stuck on it.  I tried to remove it and ripped my door. :(

Ben and Daddy deep in thought.

One of the bedroom doors. Strangely enough, I found out that a guy that I went to middle and high school with use to live in our house. 

Master bedroom.

Break time!!

YAY! We have TV!! The channel has been on DIY for the past month!!

Hardwood floors before the finish.

Downstairs bathroom sink install.

More of floors in the livingroom.

Hubby hooking up the new dishwasher. Buying a house is EXPENSIVE!!!

Finished floors in the kitchen.

Hall way with unfinished floors.

Puppies trying out for their upcoming horror flick!! We got them a bone like this when they were little bitty puppies and it lasted them an entire year! We decided since they got a new home they needed a new bone. They are in love!

Front door waling into the new floors before they were finished.

And that's all for now, folks!